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My child tends to ask random questions at bedtime. I figure it’s because we’re not distracted by other things and everything has quieted down. The other day, as she was climbing into bed, she said, “Mom, when I get bored sometimes, I don’t understand why I am alive. What is my purpose in life? What am I supposed to do?”


At first I’ll admit I was startled by the “I don’t understand why I am alive” comment, worrying that my child was questioning whether she should BE alive. But I took a deep breath and realized she was asking about the purpose of life. This is a brand new question from her and I had to think on my feet! Here’s what I said:

“That’s a great question, and one you’ll probably be asking yourself for as long as you live — I know I do. It’s one of the great mysteries, really. We all wonder why we’re here and if we’re meant to do something. But the truth is that this is something we each discover as we go along in our lives. The things you are learning and doing now will help you find your purpose later. One thing I can say is that each of us is here to further along the human experience. We learn from all those who came before us, and the next generation — your generation — will have learned more and can build upon that to do greater things.”

I kept my answer short, knowing I could easily overwhelm her. This seemed to satisfy her, and she drifted off to sleep. But I’ve been thinking about it ever since. My daughter is not a particularly deep kid, or so it would seem. Now I am not so sure. And I wonder what other sorts of questions are rumbling around her head.

I found it particularly interesting that she mentioned boredom. This question came at the tail end of her first week of summer vacation — she was home all day, no camp, no outside activities. Just TV, games, bike riding, crafts, and cooking experiments in the kitchen. Pretty much her dream life, only — of course — she got bored. A lot. I gave her extra chores and started her on a Minecraft Homeschool program, but she was still at loose ends.

But without getting bored, would she have considered this question? Without being bored, would she strive to find the things she really enjoys? This is a great argument for allowing some boredom in a child’s life. I distinctly recall feeling bored often as a child, and I also know that I went and invented a whole lot of crazy ideas and schemes just to avoid boredom. And it’s those crazy things that lead me to the person I am today, a person with a purpose and a passion in life. For I, too, hate to be bored.

So I want my child to get bored, seek out things to do that interest her, and ask questions. I won’t pretend this makes my life easier, but I think it will make my child’s life better.

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  1. thank you so much it really helped me understand my child and the way he thinks. Us moms are not so different after all. mom power!!! I love reading your blog and learning new things.

    Love your biggest fan,
    xoxo Shea <3

  2. I know this is an old post, but I found it this morning and was blown away by such a deep question from a 9-year-old. And I loved your answer. What a testament this is to giving our kids the time and space to be bored so they can ponder. I need to make sure my kids aren’t over scheduled or on electronics too much this summer so they have plenty of time to be “bored”!

  3. Jennifer,
    Thank you for your beautiful candor. I know that this posting is older, but it is such vital conversation to have with our children. I have an 11,9,6, and 4 year old.
    Yes, a good outcome of boredom is the understanding that we were made to create and produce. You show this wonderfully in your blog.
    I pray that you and your sweet boy continue to have meaningful dialogue on the topic of why we are here.

    Thanks again!

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